collage with monoprint, acrylic and screenprint elements on wood panel
16 x 20 x 1 inches
This pair of collages reflects my journey of personal transformation, pattern busting and releasing of my old self. A few years ago, before I entered my 40's, I experienced multiple personal crisis and hardships, including the death of my father. Although my professional life was going very well, I felt stagnant in my personal inner self. I was not feeling fulfilled in my relationships and I felt hungry to cultivate a circle of friends that were committed to their own growth and transformation. I also felt stuck in patterns which I had relied on for survival, patterns that no longer aligned with the person I was trying to become. Patterns like rescuing others, unrealistic perfection standards for myself and workaholism. I also found myself in an abusive relationship that was growing worse - I was scared to go home on many days. I had to stop and examine my choices, and take full responsibility for my circumstances. In Oct 2018, I decided to focus on my own deep transformation, on changing how my brain works, and on taking courage in the feminine in order to make some life changing decisions. It was a hard adjustment to make, but I went ALL IN on my personal development. I pieced together a healing pathway that included me switching to plant-based, spending more time in nature, participating in plant-based medicine ceremonies, psychotherapy, somatics, and coaching. I had to make a lot of space for it which meant saying NO to many things I would say YES to in the past. I'm still in a moment of transition, yet I now have some good tools to assess my choices and behaviors. I am carrying these practices over to my art and social activism. These art works are about looking back and looking forward. Looking back to understand my childhood wounds, which are the hardest to repair - looking back to heal from generational trauma that is the result of inequality, racism and gender violence. And looking forward to my best self, to dream big and expansively about what I can create in my lifetime, and making a quantum leap to reach her.